How to stop overthinking? First, notice that we’re all way too enamoured with thinking.
Thinking is a superb tool. It’s brilliant for planning, for solving problems and for getting things done. The rest of the time, it isn’t required. You don’t need a board meeting in your head about what’s for dinner.
Most capable, driven men were never taught where thinking stops being useful. So it runs on, round in circles, burning energy and stealing focus while nothing gets decided. It’s one of the quietest drains on your performance there is. Read on to see how to tell thinking from overthinking, what overthinking costs you and how to stop.
What Overthinking Actually Is
Overthinking is simply too much thinking.
If you’re signing off a multi-million pound decision, do your due diligence. Check the data. Make sure you’re not about to make a mistake. That’s sensible.
Most of your decisions don’t need that. What you’re having for dinner. The next move in your business or career. How to look after yourself better. The more you analyse them, the less likely they are to get done. If that sounds familiar, see why you can’t make a decision.
Every “what if” about the future is made up, however much evidence you dress it in. Then there’s the big one: what we think other people think about us. Read that again slowly. It’s a guess about a guess about someone else’s head. There are so many layers of made-upness in there it’s frankly ridiculous.
And overthinking isn’t a personality trait. It isn’t like the colour of your hair. It’s a habit, and habits can be changed.
The Circle Test: Thinking Or Overthinking?
Good thinking ends in something: an action, a deadline, a decision, anything that gets you moving. That’s the first rule of how to stop overthinking.
If you’re still going round in circles, haven’t decided and haven’t moved, that’s avoidance dressed up as being sensible. It isn’t sensible, because it burns your energy and steals your focus and attention.
The research backs up that distinction. A review by Professor Edward Watkins at the University of Exeter, published in Psychological Bulletin, found that repetitive thought can be constructive or unconstructive. Which it turns out to be depends on whether the thinking helps you make progress towards your goal, and on whether it’s abstract or concrete. Watkins has explained that abstract thinking, the “why did this happen, why can’t I do this” kind, tends to impair problem solving. Concrete thinking, the “how can I do something about it” kind, tends to improve it.
Thinking that asks how to get it done is on your side. Thinking that asks why and what if on repeat is the circle.
Why We Do It
Overthinking comes from doubt and a search for certainty, safety, comfort and familiarity. We project our past onto our future and try to work out in advance exactly how it’ll go.
It never works, because the future hasn’t happened yet. That’s why how to stop overthinking starts with seeing it for what it is.
What Overthinking Costs You
It costs you attention, energy, clear decisions and presence.
Attention and energy first. Attentional control theory, developed by researchers including Michael Eysenck at Royal Holloway and Nazanin Derakshan at Birkbeck, University of London, shows why. Worrying thoughts use up the limited attention in your working memory, leaving less for the task in front of you. The theory predicts the damage shows up in efficiency more than in results. You can often still get the job done, but it costs you more effort. That’s why overthinking leaves you knackered by Wednesday.
Then decisions. A 2025 study from the University of Groningen, reported by the British Psychological Society, found that “sticky” repetitive thinking made it harder for people with a tendency to worry to weigh up their options.
Stress makes it worse. A peer-reviewed review found that chronic stress negatively affects executive function, including working memory, attention, response inhibition and cognitive flexibility. I just say stress makes us stupid.
And while you’re up in your head, you’re not in the room. You’re missing the life unfolding in front of you.
A client of mine was invited to a big networking event and overthought the lot. What would he get out of it? Who’d be there? Could he be bothered? What else could he be doing? Round and round he went, building a case against going out of what ifs he’d made up. He went in the end. He came away with two leads, a potential partnership and an invitation to join another networking group, which he took up and which has been good for his business.
Think of the time he wasted. Time and attention he could have spent on his relationship and his children, with energy left over to use on them.
You Are Not Your Thinking
We’ve been conned into believing thinking is where it’s at. “I think, therefore I am” is Descartes. But that isn’t it, is it? It’s I’m aware that I think, therefore I am. You’re the observer of your thoughts, not the thoughts themselves.
How To Stop Overthinking: Prioritise, Optimise, Execute
My antidote is the three-step coaching process I use with every client. It’s the simplest answer I know to how to stop overthinking.
1. Prioritise. Start with the end in mind. What exactly do you want to achieve here? What really matters? What are the real stakes? Not the made-up ones, like what other people might think or what it might do to your reputation. The real, concrete facts.
2. Optimise. Get out of your own way. What rule is running here that keeps you going round in circles? That you’re not good enough? That you can’t afford to make a mistake? Get underneath it and swap it for a new rule that’s more empowering and takes you where you want to go.
3. Execute. Take one small step. Send the email. Make the call. Say yes to the opportunity. Stop the thinking and move, because clarity is revealed in momentum. You won’t know whether it’s a mistake until you do it, and the only failure is not giving it a go.
Decide when and where you’ll do it. A meta-analysis by Peter Gollwitzer and Paschal Sheeran (Sheeran was at the University of Sheffield) pooled 94 independent studies and over 8,000 people. Plans in the form “if this happens, then I’ll do that” had a medium-to-large effect on achieving goals. So: if it’s ten o’clock tomorrow, then I’ll send that email. That’s how to stop overthinking in practice.
Two tools for the moment you catch yourself looping:
Get out of your head and into your body. Mindfulness, noticing what you notice, sensing and feeling mode. What can I hear? What can I see? What can I smell? What can I feel? It drags your attention into the here and now. A meta-analysis from UK researchers of 49 studies and 4,733 people in non-clinical samples found that mindfulness programmes significantly reduced rumination and worry compared with a passive control. The average effect was large, though the margin of uncertainty is wide. Those were structured programmes rather than a five-minute exercise, but the five senses check-in is the same skill in miniature.
Ask yourself one question. This is the quickest way to stop overthinking. What would I do if I trusted myself? Whatever the answer is, go and do it.
“But My Overthinking Is What Makes Me Good At My Job”
Due diligence is smart, and smart people think things through. But overthinking doesn’t make anybody good at anything. It keeps you stuck, burns your energy and steals focus you could spend on what matters. Knowing how to stop overthinking is a performance skill, not a weakness.
If you haven’t decided, set a deadline or taken one small step, that’s too much thinking. And when it drifts into every choice and every move you make, you’re stuck in your head and can’t be present in your body or with the people who matter.
Where To Go Next
If you want to know how to stop overthinking for good, start here. Overthinking disguised as planning is number one of the five hidden performance killers I see in capable men. My free guide covers all five and the simple shifts that get you moving: download the Performance Killers guide here.
If you’d rather do this work alongside other capable men, the Positive Masculinity community is free to join.
FAQ
Why do I overthink everything?
Overthinking comes from doubt and a search for certainty, safety and comfort. We project our past onto our future and try to work out how it’ll go. It’s a habit rather than a fixed personality trait, so it can be changed.
What’s the difference between thinking and overthinking?
Good thinking ends in an action, a decision or a deadline. Overthinking goes round in circles. Research by Edward Watkins at the University of Exeter found repetitive thought can help or hinder depending on whether it moves you towards your goal, and whether it’s abstract or concrete.
Is overthinking bad for performance?
It depends on the thinking. Thinking that ends in action is useful. Thinking that goes round in circles uses up working memory and attention, so you can do the same job at a higher cost in effort. The research on how far it harms outcomes is mixed, which is why the circle test matters more than counting how much you think.
How do I stop overthinking in the moment?
To stop overthinking in the moment, notice that you’re looping, then get into sensing and feeling mode by asking what you can hear, see, smell and feel. Then ask what you would do if you trusted yourself, and take one small step.
Does mindfulness help with overthinking?
A meta-analysis of 49 studies in non-clinical samples found mindfulness programmes significantly reduced rumination and worry compared with a passive control.
References
- Eysenck, M.W., Derakshan, N., Santos, R. and Calvo, M.G. (2007). Anxiety and cognitive performance: Attentional control theory. Emotion, 7(2), 336-353. Royal Holloway and Birkbeck, University of London. https://doi.org/10.1037/1528-3542.7.2.336 and https://tu-dresden.de/mn/psychologie/allgpsy/ressourcen/dateien/lehre/pruefungsliteratur_KN_2013/Eysenck-2007.pdf?lang=de
- Watkins, E.R. (2008). Constructive and unconstructive repetitive thought. Psychological Bulletin, 134(2), 163-206. University of Exeter. https://ore.exeter.ac.uk/repository/handle/10871/11162 and https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.134.2.163
- Watkins, E. Interview: Understanding depressive rumination. The Carlat Psychiatry Report. https://www.thecarlatreport.com/articles/2762-understanding-depressive-rumination
- Yang, H. and van Vugt, M. (2025). “Sticky” thinking disrupts decision making for individuals with a tendency toward worry and depression. Emotion, 25(4), 997-1010. https://doi.org/10.1037/emo0001449. Reported by the British Psychological Society Research Digest, 13 June 2025: https://www.bps.org.uk/research-digest/sticky-thinking-hampers-decisions-depression
- Prefrontal cortex executive processes affected by stress in health and disease. Progress in Neuro-Psychopharmacology and Biological Psychiatry (2017), 85, 161-179. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5756532
- Gollwitzer, P.M. and Sheeran, P. (2006). Implementation intentions and goal achievement: A meta-analysis of effects and processes. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 38, 69-119. Effect size reported in: Parks-Stamm, E.J. and Gollwitzer, P.M., Goal implementation: the benefits and costs of if-then planning. https://kops.uni-konstanz.de/server/api/core/bitstreams/eb48c8cf-7855-478e-90ec-1ea6d44f8252/content
- Querstret, D., Morison, L., Dickinson, S., Cropley, M. and John, M. (2020). Mindfulness-based stress reduction and mindfulness-based cognitive therapy for psychological health and well-being in nonclinical samples: A systematic review and meta-analysis. International Journal of Stress Management, 27(4), 394-411. https://doi.org/10.1037/str0000165 and https://openresearch.surrey.ac.uk/permalink/44SUR_INST/15d8lgh/alma99777792802346
